Not to say that I wasn't happy in the days preceding this one but just stating something that is fleeting and worth holding onto. It's weird that even amidst all things positive in my life I'm continually finding myself in need of assurance. It's probably to balance out all the rejection I have to deal with on a weekly basis. It's interesting how this occupation is making me extremely self-conscious and seemingly confident at the same time. Self-consciously confident. I guess it's because I'm always in a state of evaluating myself evaluating human behavior evaluating me. It's a vicious cycle and I don't recommend it.
I'm not sure but I think I come off sad in my posts. I think maybe I can attribute that to the tone in which the reader reads this or maybe the fact that I don't feel like writing anything when I'm playing. For those of you who think I'm always down, I'm not. I'm usually happy. And if I seem down, I'm not... I'm probably just thinking. I tend to think a lot. Not about anything important like world domination but stupid things like "If my fingers were longer I could probably grip a basketball." These thoughts inhibit me from doing two things at once which serves to be detrimental, usually in social situations. Because my tendencies are to observe, I find that I am unable to go about menial tasks such as, holding a conversation. Unless there is nothing going on around me chances are I am a horrible person to have small talk with. I'm easily distracted and easily amused. A volatile combination for someone who wants to know about how my car's running. And with being aware of my surroundings I am also conscious of it. I'm conscious of others being more or less conscious of me being conscious of them. Ayyyyyy... putting myself on blast.
On another note... for those of you who keep up with my daily riff raff on facebook, you know that I've reached a milestone in my career which I am unabashedly proud of... I am a duly appointed Federal Marshall. (Shutter Island anyone?)
No.
I've joined SAG!
Yes!
Along with that I just got off a two day shoot in San Diego where I played the lead singer of a screamo band. Guy-liner and all. It was majestic. The cast, the crew, amazing. Thank you for that.
Thank you for reading this and thank you for your support in my ever continuing quest to make ya'll proud. You're gonna love me! (Dreamgirls anyone?)
